I have heard rumours that Michael has shared fake news about my death. I have no idea what could have driven this person to spread such nonsense. Did it ever occur to him that it is one of the privileges of the Hidden One to never taste death? At least I can I assure you that I am doing splendidly well out here in Abscondinium and that I will continue to do so till the end of time and beyond.
I can only guess that this person was somehow referring to some of his own weaknesses and that he projected them onto me. I also imagine that he was driven by the illusion of his own free will.
As for the weaknesses, I was told that he was unhappy with the success of my latest album, “The Separate Republic“. My people have heard him whining about bad physical sales, free downloads, consumers who only stream music for free these days and the corresponding total devaluation of music. He said that, considering the way things are nowadays, he would no longer be able to afford to release my future albums. He was also complaining about all the money he had lost due to bad luck with my albums and about all the people who had cheated him in the past. All of this nonsense apparently drove this person to claim that I was dead, probably hoping that he would no longer need to work for me if only enough people would believe that I was dead.
He was wrong. He was very, very wrong. First of all, we never promised him any reward whatsoever for his services. When he agreed to lend us his voice and his musical skills ten years ago, he claimed that he would only do it for the honour of working for the Grandmaster Abscon. We do not see why he would expect anything in return for his past services now, after ten years of humble and modest servitude. He never complained so far. Why should he now? Is it any less honourable now to work for us than it was ten years ago? And is it not incredibly profane and inappropriate to talk about money in connection with the holy duties he owes the Grandmaster? And where would he be likely to find inspiration for the music if it was not through the joys of deprivation and frustration?
As for his alleged free will, we are very sorry to say that it does not exist. We still require his services. He might be an idiot, but he is a useful one. He has a nice voice, and even though he is far from being a virtuoso on his instruments, he plays quite a lot of them with a certain charming ineptness that we appreciate. We must admit that even though he could do a lot better, we find the way he has arranged the Grandmaster’s compositions somewhat endearing. So, no way Michael, we are sorry to say, but you will absolutely have to record Art Abscon’s thirteen future albums. Neither you nor anyone else has a free will.
And as for you, dear Whoever, just forget the nonsense that Michael was babbling about my death. Just forget about this entire person. He does not have a single creative bone in his body. All he ever accomplished was bestowed by me, the Grandmaster Abscon. Michael will gladly record more of my music and pay for the releases. And he will never complain about money again, even if you download and stream my music for free. We will make sure of that.
Because if he did, my music would stay in Abscondinium, forever.
Be thrice blessed in the Name of Beauty.